Sick as a Dog

8 weeks pregnant

This last month has been hard for me.  I really forgot how hard morning sickness can be.  Part of my  approach with this baby has been to focus on the eventual child that will join our family and try not to think about the hard parts of getting the child here.  That turned out to be a great method because if I had remembered how hard this is, I would not have been so willing.

I started my morning sickness off with a bang by having the stomach flu.  It was so intense I was really scared that I was in for a rough ride.  Hank got it a few days later and though I was sad for him I was really happy it was a virus for me. Once the flu passed the morning sickness set in like my other pregnancies.  I didn't want to eat anything.  All food is disgusting.  Smells are the worst, including the smell of my own clothes.  My stomach is constantly upset and I'm afraid I'm going to throw up somewhere inappropriate.  After loosing several lbs and feeling pretty hopeless, my midwife put me on some anti-neausea medication and I am so, so thankful.  It has majorly improved my ability to function. It hasn't made me all better but I don't throw up and I have found some foods that I can eat.

What's been the hardest is that I feel really depressed.  I never felt this way with Hank or Wyatt but it has come on really strong.  In the morning I wake up feeling bummed out that it's the start of another day.  I have barley touched my cameras.  I don't want to play music. My house is messy.  I'm spending a lot of time lying in bed watching netflix on my phone.  Last Sunday I had no control over my emotions. I could not stop sobbing at church. It was embarrassing.

I'm also really drained by the heat.  Heat has always been my nemesis, but this is bad.  We went on a hike last week and it was cloudy and cool while we hiked deep into a canyon.  Then the sun came out it was probably 90 degrees as we hiked out.  I was going to die.  I felt like fainting, and was going to throw up.  it was like I was from some victorian novel.  The whole thing is so strange.

Besides the morning sickness and depression, I've been able to keep going to the gym with some minor adjustments to my workouts.  My weight training has stayed about the same expect I dropped down in weights a little to preserve my energy during my workouts. I cant' run because the movement makes me more nauseous, but I've been doing about 45 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.  My trainer is gone for a month teaching a football clinic and I found myself being so glad he was leaving so I could slack off.  He left me with a plan to do, which I will, but I can rest more and stop if I don't feel up to it.  We have had a bit of a hard time finding a good working medium.

I had some bleeding early on so we had an ultrasound where we were able to see the babies's hearbeat. Hank and Wyatt and Willie were with me and there have been a lot of anatomy questions from the boys ever since.  They are very curious.  They are so cute.  Having that ultrasound helped me feel more at ease.  With my first pregnancy I didnt' know until 11 weeks that the baby had died and for some reason the placenta will still growing in my uterus.  It was so sad.  Just seeing that there was a baby and a heartbeat made me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.  I know it's not a guarantee but at least we are on the right track.  In my ultrasound they found a fibroid in my uterus (a non cancerous tumor) and I'll be meeting with a specialist in a few weeks to figure out what that means. The doctor and midwife acted like it happens and though it can negatively affect a pregnancy, there are also a lot of women that carry a baby to term with a fibroid.

They boys have been angels.  I'm so thankful they have neighbor friends.  They play most of the day and come lay by me on the bed and snuggle with me.  They pray for me and the baby.  They are excited.  Hank comes in first thing in the morning to share my cup of cereal I eat before I get out of bed. Willie's been great about making dinner and running to the store to replenish whatever food I am currently eating. Right now it's peaches and bagels and sesame chicken from a local Chinese restaurant (the first meat I've been able to eat in weeks).  My diet is really poor which no doubt is affecting my depression.  I'm hoping for a great second trimeter.  With my other pregnancies I can camp and hike during my second trimeter and really feel great.


10 Comments:

  1. bethy said...
    congratulations! hang in there, and don't worry about the fibroid. we're so happy for you guys.
    Cynthia said...
    Hi Sally, I am so happy for you that you are pregnant. A baby is such a wonderful miracle. However, I completely uderstand about the difficulties of pregnancy. My last pregnancy was so hard and I wondered why I was going through it again, hadn't I learned my lesson after 3 kids?? But, as we know it is totally worth it. My hat is off to you for embarking on this difficult journey again, it is so much work to bring a baby into the world. You are so healthy and in shape, hopefully that will make it go a bit easier. I'm sure this baby will be completely adorable just like your other kids. Hang in there!!! You CAN do this! p.s. you look amazing. By 8 weeks I was already in elastic-waist pants. Every. Time.
    Travis said...
    Keep your chin up. Your bod looks great!
    Kathy said...
    Thanks for the update, Sally. I always felt yukky during my first trimester, and for the first couple of kids I pushed myself hard to keep going and keep up a normal schedule. When I was pregnant with Adam I just gave up, moved a mattress onto the living room floor, and just laid around while the kids played. I didn't do anything I didn't absolutely HAVE to do (like go to the bathroom, and that's about it.)
    I always envied people who said they felt better than ever when they were pregnant.
    Hang in there. Not long until the nausea will be over.
    Ginger said...
    So sorry you are sick Sally! Like you and several other commenters, I have always been quite sick in the beginning. I have always tried to have your same perspective. This is a small part of life, and worth it!
    I love that you can eat sesame chicken from a Chinese place. I made lots of peppermint tea to help my nausea, and ate lots of ramen.
    Hang in there!
    kate said...
    I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad! Good luck and hang in there.
    Melynne said...
    ugh! so strange that we soon forget the nausea and pain of birth. god tricks us into doing it again! i admire you for keeping up the workouts. this is the hardest work... making a human. my midwife gave me some B vitamin shots that helped a bit. don't even worry about the messy house, just hold on!!!
    Rachel said...
    congratulations, sally! i'm sorry you've been feeling rotten and i hope you feel much better soon!
    moms said...
    Hi Sally, i hope you are feeling better. Depression is hard. i have it all the time now, not just postpartum. Good Luck. I am also envious that you get to have another cutie!
    Heidi said...
    Thank you for being so real and honest...I really appreciate that about you. :) And WOOHOO for a sweet new baby...that is super exciting. Congratulations to your wonderful family!

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